Before I say anything I would like to comment on something I read on a tabloid magazine cover today. I was in the check out line at Target and my eye was drawn a headline that read “I Feel Like I Failed.” Guess whose picture was right next to it…? Kate Gosselin, the recently more popular mother of 8 and the star of the TLC show Jon & Kate Plus 8. To her statement I would like to say, whoah dumbass- you did fail.
Anyway, this week has been a little sad. First, the death of television legend Ed McMahon last Tuesday shook up America. What we didn’t know at the time was that his passing would be the first of four (celebrities) in a week’s period. Two days later, June 25th, two more of America’s icons passed- Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. I don’t know what I could say about this that has not already been said other than these people will forever be remembered for their remarkable revolutionary abilities. Farrah Fawcett will always be remembered in our hearts as a Charlie’s Angel. She is still an icon to women everywhere, and her public struggle with cancer brought strength to many. Michael Jackson was the Elvis of my generation. He completely changed stereo-types of all kinds- and his music will live on forever.
After all this, you can imagine my stunned face when I turned on the news this morning to find out the Oxi-Clean man, Billy Mays, had died on Sunday. He was just on The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien. I just saw his many commercials for Oxi-Clean and ESPN. It is crazy to me how it seems like celebrities will live on forever. I think that is what is most shocking about their passing.
I don’t know what lesson I’ve learned from all this other than death is inevitable- and no one will survive it.
Although many of us hate to do it, I believe it is completely necessary in our lives. Confrontation. The word even sounds a little ominous. Confronting another person about something, usually something you don’t like about them, is one of the hardest things we have to do. Think about all the conflicts that could be deflected if we only had enough strength to go hash it out with that person who is the source of our stress. Like the girl at work who uses your coffee creamer everyday and never feels the need to replenish it when it’s all gone. Instead of passing her the stare of death when you walk by her cubicle try asking her about it. Instead of letting the stress mount up every morning when go you into that communal kitchen and find you’re one spoonful short of your beloved creamer, tell the bitch to get her own damn French Vanilla Coffee-Mate! More politely, of course, but you get my drift. Or when your friends all talk about you behind your back, because they – thought- they heard you say something “snotty” about their kid. All of a sudden the whole group knows about the incident with a one sided story and you’re left totally out of the loop. This just causes drama. Please, save it for your mama, because I just don’t have the time to deal with it. After all, friends should be able to confront each other about issues- that’s what friends do. Welcome to adulthood.
I was reading an article today about Jenny Sanford, the wife of South Carolina’s Governor who slipped out of the country for a little R&R with his “other woman.” You know, it really gets me how audacious some people are. Mrs. Sanford discovered his affair long before this recent period of absence. According to her, after she found out about the mistress, her husband had enough balls to ask his wife if he could visit his girlfriend. Who, on the face of this earth, really thinks that asking their wife for permission to visit their girlfriend is appropriate? Please.
So then the governor goes missing. Reports speculated that his office wasn’t quite giving the full story- they claimed he was hiking a trail in the Appalachian mountains. This, however, was completely false. Stunned, we all learned that Mr. Sanford in fact skadattled his way down to Argentina right into the arms of his lover. After days no one completely knowing where he was, he confronted the world about his lies. This must have taken a huge pair of cojones on his part. But, didn’t we deserve it? Didn’t his family deserve to know what he was doing? And now, although his life is probably completely broken, at least he can go to sleep at night (I don’t know how) knowing that he did one thing right- telling the truth and confronting the people.
Now, if he would have just stepped up to the plate as a husband, he could have skipped all the crap in between. But I guess hindsight is always 20/20.
It is an interesting self examination process when you feel guilty about something. It’s like an internal struggle to talk yourself out of feeling that way- like you’re trying to convince the inner you that what you did really wasn’t that bad. The problem is, by the time the actual guilt has settled in, it is often too late to talk yourself out of your personal judgement.
Today I felt guilty at work. Not because of an act of wrong-doing, but rather wrong-thinking. I will admit to you, the job I have right now is definitely a short term deal. If I am still waitressing five years from now, my life has gone terribly wrong. Not that waitressing is a bad job, my mom has done it for over 30 years, but at the restaurant I work for- it’s pitiful. I do not ever look forward to going to work, in fact, usually before every shift I have to talk myself into going. You know what I mean- surely you’ve had a job like that. Where you wake up saying, “It is seriously more of a waste of my time to go rather than stay,” and you probably quit when it became unbearable. I empathize with you. I am not treated badly, I have friends on the job, I always go with a smile on my face, but in the back of my mind I can not help but think that this lemon is not worth being squeezed; in reality, I don’t even want this lemonade! Here is where the guilt sets in…
I was more than thankful when I heard that I got this job. I had been searching for work, like the majority of the world, and coming up empty handed for a long while. Being a young college student with some impressive previous experience, but altogether a rather simple resume, is not really a highlight for employers- especially when the competition is a 40 year old USC alumni with three bachelor degrees, a master’s, and a doctorate on top of that- even for a sales position at Target. So I’m happy I found work, grateful, and was pretty glad at the fact that I could set up direct deposit on my bank account again so the tellers wouldn’t think I was really that poor. Lately, however, I’ve become antsy. I want to do something that actually matters in the world! Serving hot plates of beef, chicken, and the occaisional grilled salmon salad, are not inspiring anyone to do anything (or is it). But then I force myself to step back and think about how wonderful serving those dishes are. It allows me to pay my rent, my car insurance, my cell phone bills, my electric, my water, and on and on and on. Perhaps I am just being impatient, but I want more- I need more. I need to know that the work I am doing is doing something for someone else. Is that so much to ask?
So I feel guilty that such thoughts would even cross my mind in this economy. In this great world we’re all living in, I feel guilty for wishing I had something better. I wish that I could just be content. It’s a struggle, and I know it’ll teach me something. Probably to be patient and happy with what you have.
And someday, I know I’ll look back and thank the stars that I got this job because, if nothing else, I’ve learned that restaurants are surely a waste of money.
If you have been watching any television, reading any magazines, even standing in any grocery store check out lines, you have had a little glimpse into the events of the Gosselin’s- Jon and Kate. Their wildly popular show, Jon & Kate Plus 8, has been a favorite of mine for the past year or so. Tonight they made a big announcement on TLC saying that they had decided to get a divorce, they say “split up,” probably due to recent allegations about them and their marriage. In one story I read, the author stated that some people are just not meant to be together forever. And to that, I say- what?
I’ve never been married. I haven’t said the vows or walked the aisle. I haven’t exchanged “I Do’s” with anyone, as of yet. However, I know that when that time comes, it will be a statement for forever. Yes there will be hard times. Yes there will be times when one or both of us will want to get out of it (pop quiz: what movie is that from?). These things I understand, and despite them, I want to take the plunge into the unknown. Jon and Kate say that this will bring peace to their kids. Really? Peace? Instead of seeing their parents fight, they get to see them give up. What a lesson to teach 8 kids under the age of 10. We wonder why adolescents, children, adults today give up on things so easily- I dare say it is perhaps because now we’re teaching them that it’s ok? Who knows.
None of Jon and Kate Gosselin’s business is my business, but life lessons are a passion of mine, and for some reason this whole ordeal has rubbed me the wrong way. Fate just threw them some lemons, and instead of making lemonade, they threw them right back. Those kids will have to deal with this decision for the rest of their lives. What do you think? Is divorce really necessary? Isn’t there any hope for love anymore? I know I’m putting faith in love because I know it really is strong enough to move mountains- why don’t other people seem to agree.
We’ve all heard the expression that we dread the moment it hits our ears or enters our mind- “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” Usually, when circumstances allot for this sort of verbal encouragement we are no where near the mood to take it as beneficial. However, today I was dealing with some issues- the petty ones, the ones that keep you up at night even though they’re really not worth your time- and I thought about this old rendition and I thought to myself, “It’s time to turn my life into lemonade!”
I am currently a full time university student, which in itself is a chore, but I like to add on a little full time work as well. Pair those with trying to have a life and enjoying my 20’s and you have a busy, busy girl. On top of these basics, I enjoy a little relaxation time- when I can find it- and maybe even a date night every now and then.
Through out my life I have learned that life gives you lemons: this is inevitable. You can not possibly go through life thinking that everything will automatically be easy- and I think pretty much everyone on the planet knows this. Everyone, get this, everyone has had a hard time now and then. I am by no means saying that my lemons have been any more bitter than yours- they haven’t. After all, I am still learning and young and haven’t even had the time for collasal lemons to be thrown my way. But, I am old enough to know they’ll come.
This blog is essentially going to be a way for me to tell about my lemons, and the lemonade I made with them. Hopefully you’ll take something away from it- if only entertainment at my expense.
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